The Role of Phones in the Death of Conversation

Reclaiming Conversation--Week 6
"Studies show that the mere presence of a phone on the table (even a phone turned off) changes what people talk about. If we think we might be interrupted, we keep conversations light, on topics of little controversy or consequence.
We find it hard to turn back to each other, even when efficiency or politeness would suggest we do just that. The mere presence of a phone signals that your attention is divided, even if you don’t intend it to be. It will limit the conversation in many ways: how you’ll listen, what will be discussed, the degree of connection you’ll feel. Rich conversations have difficulty competing with even a silent phone.
When digital media encourage us to edit ourselves until we have said the “right thing,” we can lose sight of the important thing: Relationships deepen not because we necessarily say anything in particular but because we are invested enough to show up for another conversation.
“Knowing that someone is not understanding you, not paying attention, makes it easy to lose trust. . . . If someone was on their phone and not really in the conversation, I don’t feel like I can trust them as much.”
We decide to try a device-free class with a short break to check phones. Conversations become more relaxed and cohesive. Students finish their thoughts, unrushed. What the students tell me is that they feel relief: When they are not tempted by their phones, they feel more in control of their attention. An irony emerges. For of course, on one level, we all see our phones as instruments for giving us greater control, not less." (from Reclaiming Conversation, Sherry Turkle)

• What do you think?
• Have you had times when you were unable to use your phone for an extended period? How did it feel?
• Have you had times when you chose to leave it down and away?

“It is for us to pass on the most precious thing we know how to do: talking to the next generation about our experiences, our history; sharing what we think we did right and wrong.”

2 Timothy 4.1-8
 When Christ Jesus comes as king, he will be the judge of everyone, whether they are living or dead. So with God and Christ as witnesses, I command you to preach God's message. Do it willingly, even if it isn't the popular thing to do. You must correct people and point out their sins. But also cheer them up, and when you instruct them, always be patient. The time is coming when people won't listen to good teaching. Instead, they will look for teachers who will please them by telling them only what they are itching to hear. They will turn from the truth and eagerly listen to senseless stories. But you must stay calm and be willing to suffer. You must work hard, telling the good news and to do your job well.
Now the time has come for me to die. My life is like a drink offering being poured out on the altar. I have fought well. I have finished the race, and I have been faithful. So a crown will be given to me for pleasing the Lord. He judges fairly, and on the day of judgment he will give a crown to me and to everyone else who wants him to appear with power.
“It is for us to pass on the most precious thing we know how to do: talking to the next generation about our experiences, our history; sharing what we think we did right and wrong.”

How do we do that? How do we prioritize the people in front of us?
As we finish this series today,

• Would you make some kind of a commitment toward giving your full attention to conversation? What would that look like for you?
• How could we, as a church, teach our community the art of unrushed conversation again, even as we also learn it?
• What would that look like on a Sunday morning, and can we make an agreement on it?